HusbandServesWife

Apologies to all

2007-05-24T18:57:00.000-07:00

i haven't been back to blogging for a while now, and i am sorry. There has been a lot going on, yada yada etc. but this is an excuse not worthy of use. E/everyone's busy, some work multiple jobs, and the old adage "men may work from sun to sun, but a Women's work is never done" is timeworn and hardly a rationale but...
It is hard trying to do the work of a Woman, and i am not near good enough to have a lot of extra time on my hands. Domestic chores never end, but don't think i am complaining - i am not. The pleasure of being in service more than compensates for the work, and my domestication has been driven mostly by my own need for it.
Lately, however, at those times when tiredness or laziness get the better of me, She will bring me to my senses with a remark like, "I see how it is, you get me to like this authority, then you think you can quit playing anytime you want?"
Of course that makes me realize what a jerk i am, and i redouble my efforts to tasks at hand. It seems to me i get to live my fantasy and when i "fall down on the job", i am disappointing U/us both.
So please bear with me, as i try to be a good domesticated hubby, and contribute to the general discourse on FLR when time permits. i'll try not to stay away so long again.

Taking time off

2006-03-28T17:55:00.000-08:00

Posting here has been irregular to say the least, partly due to time constraints, and also to a lack of subject material. What started as a hope to enlighten others turned out to be a gateway that i am sure allowed me to learn much more from the comments of you readers than you have gained from me - thanks to all.
While i still plan to check for comments and requests often, i am putting posting on hold unless some compelling request is made. There is much to do to right the wrongs of this world, and it will require direct action. The U.S.A. today is drifting rapidly down the same path that Germany took in the 30's and i cannot and will not sit idly by and watch it anymore. Therefore, i am going to devote my free time to working for political causes that will strengthen our freedom, and candidates who will honor the vision of America's founding fathers - the bill of rights - and eviscerate those forces who have aligned themselves against it.
Posting will resume after November's election.

New Year, old memories

2006-01-02T12:55:00.000-08:00

Sorry to have been absent from here so long, but December is such a busy time of year and it is difficult to complete all of my domestic responsibilities - i am just a man, remember - and it is hard work to accomplish all of the things She used to do so well. Not only that, but She seemed to be able to do so much almost effortlessly. No, of course it wasn't effortlessly, but She made it seem a lot easier than it is. Maybe because She learned how to complete the domestic chores as a child, maybe because She is just superior to me, i don't know. But i am trying to do those chores and make it appear effortless, also. Why should i burden Her when i am trying to unburden Her?

PWBOB has offered a comment to my first post that is reminded me of the early years of my marriage. While he returned to the relationship after his Linda had been with another man, my own story was somewhat different. W/we went through a painful time, and She believed that She was in love with another man. Respecting Her wishes, i moved out, but first i met with this other man, and explained to him how lucky he was. Even going so far as buying him a drink, taking him to Her, letting him know She wanted him and not me.

This was long before i could be open about my need to submit, to Her or myself. Months later, when She had decided that this man was not for Her, She allowed me back into Her life. W/we had counseling, W/we grew together, and the experience, though painful, made U/us wiser. i had forgotton about this man until recently, had forgot that i have had the knowledge of what it is like to be cuckolded. My reaction was the same then as it would be today, i wanted Her happiness even if it means She shares a bed with another. It is Her right, and it is my responsibility to facilitate it if She desires it. Of course i am sad that i may not be the one chosen to keep Her satisfied, i was very sad then. Horney and sad, lol.

It seems to me that PWBOB has early on found someone to devote himself to in a way that pleases them both. To quote:
MY DEVOTION TO HER AND THE THRILL OF HER STORY WHILE I JERKED OFF WAS UNBELIEVABLE. I CAN'T GET ENOUGH. I LOVE HER AND LOVE THE WAY SHE TREATS ME. PLEASE SUGGEST SOME ACTIVITES THAT WILL ENHANCE OUR LOVEMAKING AS WELL AS OUR RELATIONSHIP.

My suggestion is to surrender yourself to Her. Not just buy Her flowers, deposit your paycheck into Her account, vacuum Her house and wash Her dishes, but something extraodinary. Present Her with the picture of Her and Her lover framed, or arrange a date for them if She still wants to see him. But... be careful of what you wish for, as they say.

Deportment

2005-11-18T16:40:00.000-08:00

Here is a topic that should be taught to every boy as he arrives at puberty. How to behave when in mixed company. Of course, those of us with the desire to serve a Wife need to take graduate classes. These are my thoughts on two aspects of deportment from what i've learned, maybe they can help.
Communication: Yes, we need to watch what we say. In private, it is best to listen more and speak less. Consider Her feelings, answer Her questions directly and honestly, be open about your emotions and pay attention to Her verbal and non-verbal clues. In public, show deference to Her ideas and views, do not interrupt or use foul language. She will love it if you stand up for Her opinions, but remember to be cordial and polite to one and all. Do not disagree openly in public, but rather wait for a private moment to voice your concerns, if you must. Remember to say "Please" and "Thank You", it's called manners and they go a long way.
Physical presence: You will want to find out how She will expect you to comport yourself, and don't be surprised if She feels that your actions need change completely when you are in public versus private. In public She will likely expect you to open doors for Her, stand when She enters a room, light Her cigarette, and perform other acts of chivalry. She may have different protocols for you depending on where you are and with whom. Perhaps She enjoys the company of friends who are aware of the dynamic in your relationship, certainly in that case you would be expected to display the deference to Her that you show Her in private, as well. Her friends may enjoy privileges in Her company you do not, or She may require you to obey them too. It would be best to check with Her for Her expectations, of course. And when you are in private, you should expect that She may enjoy a grander display of your devotion, such as bowing or curtseying when entering a room, keeping your eyes averted, or standing in a corner when not busy with chores.
This is a very large topic, and i am unable to do it justice completely today. Have laundry to finish up, so please add anything that you think important that's been left out. Thanks

Getting the jobs done

2005-11-08T16:48:00.000-08:00

Been very busy and have had little time for extra-curricular activities. Working full time and doing most of the domestic chores keeps me out of trouble and i am more than happy to be so productive, but something has to give, and that seems to be my ramblings here.
Also, since there have been no comments requesting specific helpful hints, maybe i am not providing any great service, at least not one anybody reading needs. Certainly this is no Hints by Heloise, but what it lacks in knowledge is compensated for by experience. Granted, it is a very specialized kind of experience, i am sure. Not many men, i would venture, are really out there performing the domestic duties while holding down a job, and have Wives who don't work, or who work part time, and spend their free time as they wish with no concern for chores. No concern, that is, except that they enjoy the fact of them being done to their standard and hopefully that they do not even need mention them.
It is totally embarrassing for me to have to be reminded of a chore, and i am constantly trying to remember all of the little things that need doing. Do any of you have a system that helps? Have tried putting all of the jobs on a spreadsheet, and was hoping She would take part in it, maybe add things or write in credits or demerits. What i found, though, was that this was just for me. She doesn't really want to have to review my work, She just wants it done so She doesn't have to think about it. Of course this is right and proper, after all, i am the submissive and want to be doing this and She is entitled to not have to be bothered.
So it goes, and so must i, for She is due home from Her shopping excursion soon and i must still walk the dog and clean up breakfast dishes and tidy up.

Special purchase

2005-10-17T09:09:00.000-07:00

Wife and i went to JoAnn's yesterday to buy a sewing machine carrier that they advertised in their flyer. The place is so disorganized, they never received it from the vendor! It took three employees to finally tell us they weren't even issuing rain checks; the first two employees even directed us to the wrong place, and we were consistently told the wrong thing and directed to someone else. Wife was quite disappointed with such poor service, if W/we had stock in the company, i am sure She would sell it.

However, on the way in they had a rack of Halloween costumes for sale at 50% off, and She let me buy a French maids' uniform for only $6.85!!! It has a cute little headpiece with white lace and a black bow that matches the two black bows on the white bodice of the black dress. And, it has a tiny little white apron that i just love. It is just sooo cute, though i look like a dork in it, i need to lose at least ten pounds, sadly.

She has taught me to look for bargains, as one must in these tight times! Even though i am working full time at a much higher salary, and am responsible to see that all the bills are paid on time, i never forget that this is a Wife led home; financial matters ultimately are Hers to decide. So i ask permission from Her even when spending my allowance on a maid outfit to be sure She approves. This is not to say i don't have input on financial decisions. If She decides to buy something big, say several thousand dollars for furniture, She usually asks me if we have can fit it in the budget. She has a more general feel for what W/we can afford, since i do the grunt work of writing the checks, balancing the checkbook, scheduling the bills etc. Also, i can suggest spending, but always respecting Her decision, yea or nay. For instance, after the great purchase on the maids' costume, i asked if i could buy some flowers when W/we shopped at Costco, but was told no. Surprised, i thought She would take it as a romantic gesture that would have brightened up the house, but She felt we were spending too much on frivolous things and of course, She was right.

At this time, my name is still on all of our banking, credit, home, vehicles, etc. If it were up to me, this wouldn't be. Having accepted Her Authority, i wish to place my financial, physical and emotional well being into Her care. She says She will consider it in the future, but for now it is easier for Her to delegate the check signing, and since my direct deposit pay must go to an account with my name on it to be legal, things will stay as they are. Perhaps after i retire, but i guess that it really would be more of a symbolic gesture, like a slave being collared. Even though i have credit cards and cash, i would never use them for something without Her approval, and pehaps this delights Her even more. Do you think i am being silly in wanting to be financially dependant on Her?

Laundry

2005-09-12T11:52:00.000-07:00

Apologies for the delay in updating this blog. One attempt last week ended with nothing to show for it - i hit the wrong button and lost a page of effort. That was due to my own cluelessness, i'm just a dumb guy, after all, but after expending all of the effort and having nothing to show for it, i needed a break.
Today's attempt must have worked out, though, if you are reading this. Am fortunate to have a little time between laundry loads, and have no other chores assigned to me. Wife is visiting family out of state, and has taken Her Mom with her, so my load is much lighter than normal.
Laundry is one of those tasks that can be very tricky, and was difficult for me to learn to do the right way. Sometimes i still get it wrong, and ruin a new blouse or something, but i am getting better. Now i know to ask for help when i am not sure of the temperature to wash in or if its OK to put in the dryer. It took a few ruined clothes and a sore bottom to make me understand how important it is to perform this domestic chore flawlessly EVERY time.
After sorting into whites, lights, and dark colors, i start with the white load in the washer. This is for the washcloths, socks, and other whites but not Her T-shirts, or brassieres. These last items do not do well in the hot water and chlorine bleach that you should wash the whites in. Be sure to run the water for a while to let the tub fill up and mix the detergent first, then add the whites. Also, add the chlorine bleach to the proper place, don't just dump it into the water, since it will actually react with the detergent to the detriment of both.
The reason for doing whites first is that there may be a residue of bleach left over from a previous load, and you want to flush that out and not have it spoil the dark clothes. While the whites are washing, check the other clothes to turn them right side out, empty pants pockets, zip up and button pants and place appropriate clothes (e.g. nylons, knit sweaters) into mesh bags. Once i found a $20 bill in a pocket, and She was very pleased when i gave it to her.
Next, wash the light clothes, because of the possibility that there may be that bleach residue, and this will minimise any damage it could cause. Here is where i put in the lightly colored and white brassieres, but be sure to place them into a mesh bag so they don't get caught on anything and pulled out of shape.
W/we usually have more than one load of dark clothes, so i separate the underwear, jeans, towels, socks, etc. from the shirts and slacks. Again, be sure that you check the pockets; i once missed a tissue and boy did it make a mess!
Once the whites have washed, place them into the dryer; it will help if you shake them up a little bit before putting them in. Add in a fabric softener sheet to reduce the static cling and to give it all a nice fresh scent.
For the lightly colored clothes, use detergent with a non-chlorine bleach like Clorox-II and cold water. Hot water can cause some of Her most delicate fabrics to shrink, and unless you have time to use the Woolite and do these by hand, most will be OK if you use a gentle cycle. Of course, hand washing of the most delicate items is a very intimate and reverential means of displaying your devotion if you are allowed to do it. Just be very thorough to clean and dry them completely. Usually once washed, i roll them up in a towel and step on them, being careful not to put any creases in them, then unroll the towel and let them finish air drying.
Once the whites dry, remove them and replace with the light load. Be sure to remove the fabrics that cannot handle the dryer, like the brassieres and button down blouses that will shrink if put in the dryer. Maybe you have some other items to watch out for, i suggest you ask Her. Probably She won't be too annoyed and certainly She will be much more annoyed if you screw up and shrink a favorite item! Of course, you will hate to bother Her with these details, and you figure that you can do this without help, but a word to the wise, as they say.
After removing from the light load the clothes that do not tolerate the dryer and hanging them up before they wrinkle too badly, start the light load drying and the first dark load washing. Don't forget the fabric softener sheet in the dryer, and continue to use the cold water for the dark loads. And remember to mix in the detergent and non-chlorine bleach with a partially filled tub of water before adding the clothes.
Tip - if you wash the load with the shirts first, you can finish placing them on hangers while the last of the clothes dry, but if you are going to run errands in the middle of this and cannot be there when the shirts finish drying, start the other dark load first. If you screw up, (e.g. maybe She decides you need to run to the store to buy Her a box of tampons), there is always wrinkle release. Just don't forget to use it!
While the first dark load is washing and the lights are drying, you have time to fold the whites. The washcloths W/we have are bordered on one side, so She has me fold them on the same edge in half and then quarters. It is very pretty to see them all stacked with the design facing the same way, something i never paid attention to before i learned the correct (Her) way of doing it. For the socks, i match up the pairs and wrap up one inside the other, but always pay attention to not stretching the top out of shape.
Once the lights are ready to come out of the dryer, i pull out the clothes that need to be hung up and carefully lay them over a chair, smoothing out any wrinkles. After taking out the remainder of the light load, proceed with placing the first dark load into the dryer - remember to check the fabrics and hang up any that shouldn't go into the dryer machine. Then adding the fabric softener sheet, start that load and hang up the clothes placed on the chair. Then it's time to fold the other light items, and put these away.
Follow the same procedure when removing the dark load from the dryer, and it is certain that you will feel a sense of accomplishment and joy knowing you have eliminated this drudgery from Her life. Anyway, that is my reward, that and clean clothes.
Hope that this is of some help, but i do not profess to be an expert. If somebody would care to enlighten me on a better way, please feel free to comment and help me to improve my skills. Also, if there is another domestic chore that you would have me detail, i would love it if you would request it. Until next time, then. Peace and love to you all

Short note, too much to do

2005-08-24T16:46:00.000-07:00

Sorry not to be able to communicate daily, as that was my intention. It seems, what with my regular job and the many chores that Wife has assigned, there just aren't enough hours in the day. Oops! She has just called, and instructed me to get a movie - Beauty Shop w/ Queen Latifah - and KFC for dinner, as She is on Her way home from work. So i guess this is a very short update and i will try to squeeze in more some time later. Love to all, but must skedaddle to get this as ordered.

Typical daily routine

2005-08-20T17:25:00.000-07:00

Hello again. Got home about an hour and a half ago, walked the dog, fed the pets, picked up the mail, cleaned up the dishes my Mother-in-Law left out for me (yes, She lives with us - more on that later), cleaned up the coffee and dishes from this morning that i prepared for Her before i left for work, sorted the laundry, and was going to run the white load when i realized i was out of bleach. Am hoping that when She calls to tell me that She is on Her way home from work, She will be planning to stop at the store to pick up some things and i can ask Her if She will pick up some bleach then.
So now i have taken some time for myself to add to this blog. As you can see, i refrain from referring to Her as my wife, as i am uncomfortable with the possessive implication. It is quite the opposite for me being Her husband, of course, as She possesses me completely.
So i will use capital letters and bolding to denote this beautiful soul with whom i share my life.
Now Mother-in-Law, she is capitalized out of respect for Her position as Mother and because She is a woman. IMHO, all Women (Womyn, however you like it) deserve my respect, that is just the nature of my psyche. i am a true believer in female domination as a social, sexual, and spiritual way of life.
Mother-in-Law, however, is only peripherally aware of the level of my submission to Her Daughter, as She benefits from Her Daughter's control over me without being cognizant of the depths to which i obey and serve. She is quite old, nearing 90, and it seems to me that She just accepts the situation as convenient without giving it much thought, much as a child accepts the interactions of ones parents.
She will leave Her breakfast dishes out and they just happen to be cleaned up, or dump Her depends into the waste basket, or Her laundry into Her hamper and not pay any attention to who is doing all of the clean up. She probably thinks it is Her Daughter, if She gives it any thought at all. She seems to take no notice and act as if everything is normal, even when She sees me being told what to do, or disciplined for infractions.
Then again, maybe She is aware of it and enjoys the benefits without showing anything is unusual. i try to give Her no reason to need to punish me in front of Her Mother, and am extra careful to obey promptly whenever we have company. Also, as stated earlier, i am certain that She does not want to flaunt our relationship in front of others. She is a little embarrassed for me at what a pussy whipped little sissy i have become.
For instance, She did not tell me to do the laundry, but i was aware it needed doing. And, i very carefully checked all of the pockets, zipped up and buttoned the pants, and placed Her brassieres into netted bags to protect them from getting tangled as i was sorting the clothes into light, dark and whites. i use Costco detergent that is similar to liquid All, and on colors i use the Clorox II. After that, i folded the clothes out of the dryer that She had put in there. It was a little like a slap in my face, because they were Her Mom's clothes and it meant that i had missed that they needed doing. Though She works many fewer hours, and goes in much later to work than me, i still try to do all of the chores so She won't have to do any. i guess i am just not there yet, but i will keep trying to and when i no longer have to go to an outside job, i feel that i will be able to do much better.
Yea! She called and is coming home. And stopping at the store for dinner, so She will bring me bleach. She told me i am a good little laundress, and even though She meant it in a sweet, sincere way, it is still a little degrading and humiliating to be referred to this way. Of course, She knows that i love that!

How to become PW

2005-08-19T18:08:00.000-07:00

Having been married over 15 years, and needing to convince Her that my submissive desires were not going away, i found myself with Her on vacation away from all distraction and other people we knew. It was then that i made an issue of what was so important to me, in our hotel room, in a strange city, at the beginning of a long trip.
Anyone could do what i did, but few do. i told her how much it meant to me, how being submissive wasn't something that would go away. i cried my eyes out and begged for understanding.
She relented, and agreed to try it one weekend a month. After all, what could it hurt. She probably never expected it to lead to the life we now lead, it was so unlike anything in Her experience. She was raised in a military family, where the man wore the pants! and the wife and daughters did what they were told. So this did not come naturally to Her.
It took many years for us to learn how to get along and build a new relationship. Our children aren't even aware of the details, as She has always felt this area of our lives is private. They do know that Dad and Mom get along very well, never fight, and are always united.
Not that it isn't obvious to everyone who knows us that i am pussywhipped, but i am sure that nobody knows the extent to which She wields the authority in our house now. For what started out as one weekend a month has gradually become second nature 24/7. She works a part time job and i work full time, and we enjoy a few luxuries such as a housecleaning service once a week, but that is to my benefit, or else i would be the one vacuuming, dusting, etc.
As it is, She does the cooking but i do all of the clean up. Besides dishes, i do laundry, clean up after the pets, dump the trash, and all of the maintenance for the vehicles and home repair that we don't hire anyone to do for us. She does some yard care, like tending the garden, because She enjoys it. For any job that comes up, She knows i will do it when told, but it has been my desire to do it before she needs to ask to have it done. And that is the key to being a good submissive husband, if only i could have enough time and energy to always do everything before She even asks.
This more than anything else has helped me convince Her to let me serve Her. Like the Nike add says, "Just Do It". She has financial control, sets our schedule for exercise, social events, and has final say on any and all decisions. It isn't something we negotiated, i just surrendered and She appreciates it. She doesn't expect me to check with Her for every little thing, but for any little thing that She decides, She knows that i will obey Her wishes. This is difficult to understand if you are not a submissive, and if you are it is difficult to follow. But it is rewarding if making Her happiness your joy. In creating this blog, i am trying to help others, like me, who crave this kind of a loving relationship. I hope to post cleaning tips, give ideas on small services you can perform, and welcome feedback that contributes to my being able to please Her in any way.

In the beginning - or - First post

2005-08-19T17:27:00.000-07:00

This is new to me, i just wanted to add a comment to Katherine West's blog, http://lovingfemaleauthority.blogspot.com/ and i have found myself with this forum in which i can anonymously add to the knowledge base for those submissive men who are struggling to convey the desire to their partners, and to provide a place for those who already have learned how to surrender to share their successes.
Although there is already not enough time in the day for me to do all of the chores i wish i could do, i think that there will be satisfaction from helping others to reach the state of bliss that is to be found in submitting to the authority of their significant other.
So this is the start of my blog, hope you find something here that you can use.